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Avoid these mistakes with your kids during divorce

Divorced parents could make many mistakes when raising their children, but it's important to do what you can to prevent some of the most significant. For example, if you have older children, you may feel you can lean on them during your divorce. The reality is that doing so could hurt your children and is a bad idea. You don't ever want to suggest taking sides or making a child feel he or she is burdened with taking care of your or your spouse.

Another thing to avoid is treating your child as a peer as a way of compensating for the divorce. As much as it may feel comfortable to treat your child as more of an adult and as a peer going through the same situation, a child's loss is always going to be different than a parent's loss during divorce.

Another common thing attorneys see is parents who put their child in the middle of conflict. For example, if you can't communicate well with your ex, you might ask your child to deliver a message. That's normally not a good idea, since you need to learn how to communicate and discuss your child's care with your ex-spouse, not through your child relaying messages.

It's easy to put your child in the middle or to make mistakes that could make them feel that they're choosing sides. As a parent, it's your responsibility to do what you can to keep your child out of negotiations or discussions; your child is dealing with divorce in his or her own way and has his or her own issues that need resolution.

Source: Families.com, "Top 12 Divorced Parenting Mistakes," accessed May 11, 2018

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