When you and your spouse split up custody of your child in the divorce, you want to think about how big events need to be handled. There are things that happen just once a year, and you’ll both likely want to be involved.
Your child’s birthday party is just one example, but this could also include things like high school graduation or Christmas. If you just have a basic every-other-week custody schedule, does that mean the parent who happens to have custody during these events gets to be in charge? Or is there a way that you can divide up these events or plan for them in advance?
Exploring your options can require some creativity
Parents all address this in different ways, depending on the dynamic between them. Some are willing to have shared birthday parties where they are both present and part of it. Others choose to have multiple parties — Dad has one when he has custody and Mom has one when she does — because it seems too hard for them to work together. Still others will ask their children what they would prefer, especially as the children get older.
The key is to know what your custody order says. Some parents talk this out in advance and plan to split up holidays. Others do not. If your custody order says that your ex has custody, you can’t deny them that right. You must follow the court order. That’s why it is usually best to consider your options in advance and have these conversations so that you and your ex can set up a parenting plan that is best for your family.