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Sarasota Family Law Blog

It's not easy to pinpoint a real divorce rate

Conventional wisdom says that half of all marriages end in divorce. Many people, when asked, will tell you that the divorce rate is 50%.

It's not, though. That number came about as a projection. It was a prediction of what would happen while divorce rates were increasing. It was never a solid number.

Have you thought about nesting after divorce?

Divorce comes with a lot of potential options for your child custody situation. Maybe you get sole custody. Maybe your ex does. Maybe you have shared custody, and the children live at both homes at different times. It can get chaotic.

Now, the most common way that parents with shared rights do this is that they move the children back and forth. Maybe your schedule means they live with you for four days, then they go stay with your ex for three days. Then they return to your home.

3 ways an accountant may improve your divorce

If you are heading for a divorce, you probably have a great deal on your mind. For example, you may have worries about where you will live, how you will support yourself or when the matter will end. Access to the right information, though, may help put your mind at ease. 

In Florida, judges divide marital property based on what is equitable. Therefore, you should receive your fair share of marital assets after your divorce ends. Still, financial matters can be incredibly complex. Here are three ways that an accountant may improve your divorce standing: 

Divorce may be a chance to rediscover yourself

One of the biggest pieces of advice that many divorce experts give is simple: Rediscover yourself. Embrace the fact that life is going to change, rather than fighting it. If you do this, you can take a more positive outlook toward your now-single life.

There are two major ways to do this. One is to throw yourself into something new. Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar or how to paint. You never felt like you had time before, or maybe your spouse didn't support your hobbies. Now may be the right time to learn these new skills. Try out something you couldn't do before.

3 reasons you can feel happy after divorce

You're heading toward a divorce and you worry about how hard it's going to be emotionally. You also worry that you may not feel very happy after the marriage ends, even if you know it is the right thing to do.

The good news is that you can and will feel happy. It may be hard, but that doesn't mean it stays hard forever. Here are three reasons that psychologists discuss when breaking down this topic:

  1. Some people are in relationships that they describe as a "war zone." This means constant fighting and arguing. Divorce may feel like a challenge, but their quality of life goes up so much after the split that they feel much better.
  2. Others just did not want to stay married. It didn't connect with who they were and what they wanted out of life. They felt like it was holding them back. These people often feel a sense of freedom after the split, especially if they had a controlling spouse.
  3. Some people, especially parents, find ways to actually stay friends and be happy after the divorce. They know that they need to focus on getting to that point in their relationship because of their children. Divorce does not have to lead to a contentious relationship where the two of you never want to speak to one another again.

Helping children adjust well to divorce

As you consider divorce, you know that it's the right option for you and your spouse, but you worry about the impact on the children. This relationship isn't just about the two of you as a couple anymore. You don't want to do something that harms your children.

This is a common and valid concern. The good news is that experts generally find that children whose parents get divorced can adjust very well over time. The key is for the parents to really focus on parenting itself. The actions you take after divorce are crucial. You should:

  • Offer children emotional support when they need it
  • Provide a warm and welcoming home life
  • Monitor the children's activities to address any potential issues like declining grades
  • Still provide discipline and structure
  • Seek to create a stable life for the children that is as close as possible to what they enjoyed before the divorce
  • Consider others who may have an impact on their lives, e.g., their teachers

Nontraditional families created through adoption

The world of nontraditional families can get very complex quickly. It is important for all involved to know exactly what options they have.

For instance, in many recent cases, grandparents seek to adopt their grandchildren. They do this because they love them and they want to give them the stability and home life that will be best for their development when the children's own parents cannot do so. And it's not just grandparents. Aunts, uncles and other family members also sometimes find themselves involved.

3 signs of possible parental alienation

Every parent realizes that kids often go through phases. While it can be difficult to identify the cause of a child’s disrespectful or hurtful behavior, a co-parent should not be the source. Sometimes, though, divorced parents intentionally or inadvertently engage in parental alienation. This occurs when one parent tries to destroy the other parent’s relationship with the kids. 

If you share custody of your children with an ex-spouse, you likely face some challenges. After all, you and your former partner may not see eye-to-eye on the right way to raise the kids. Nonetheless, you should be able to count on your ex-spouse not to alienate your children. Here are three signs of possible parental alienation: 

Divorce is more likely in January

In the middle of January, are you more likely to get divorced? Why do people call it "Divorce Month?"

The truth is simple: Divorce filings go up in January. It is more likely you'll get divorced this month than it was in December. It's called Divorce Month because this consistently happens, year after year.

Child custody considerations and factors

If you're heading into a child custody case, you know that the court looks at a lot of different factors to determine how to assign custody rights. But do you know what those factors are? Understanding what the court looks for can help you move forward and strive to protect your time with the children.

The following is by no means an exhaustive list of everything the court will consider, as each case is unique. However, it is a good place to get started and can give you an idea of what the court looks at. Some of the big factors include:

  • Each parent's physical home and the living accommodations the children can expect.
  • The ages of the different children at the time of the ruling.
  • If there is any evidence of neglect or abuse, or if one parent has falsely accused the other of such things in the past.
  • What the children want, if deemed old enough to have an opinion on such matters.
  • If the court can make a ruling that allows for consistency in the child's life.
  • If one parent has been the main caretaker prior to the ruling.
  • Each parent's ability to give the children a "stable, loving environment."
  • The physical health of the parents.
  • The mental health of the parents.
  • Any criminal records.
  • The relationships that the children already have with each parent.
  • What the parents want and what they have requested of the court.

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