Realizing you want a divorce is a massive breakthrough. Yet you can’t stop your thinking there. You need to look further ahead.
Top athletes visualize achieving their goals. For example, a basketball player pictures the ball dropping through the hoop before they take the free throw and a high-jumper visualizes themselves landing clean on the other side of the bar before they start their real-life run-up. Doing so helps them turn their dreams into reality. You can do similar.
What should you try and imagine before you begin your divorce?
It all depends on what you want. If you just walk into the divorce without knowing what you want, you leave yourself more susceptible to an inadequate outcome. Here are a few examples of how knowing what you want for the future can help you make the right choice when divorcing:
1. You want to start your own business
Let’s say you took care of the house and kids while your spouse brought the money home. Now you are divorcing, you need to bring in your own money, which can be hard if you gave up on your career. Realizing you want to start your own business can help you ask for help to get started when you negotiate divorce terms. If you need to train for two years you could seek financial support for that time to help you become self-sufficient.
2. You want to travel the world
Let’s say you are divorcing in later life and want to travel to all the places your spouse never wanted to go. Understanding that can help you set your goals for the divorce. Keeping the house might no longer be important to you. Instead, you can sell it, take your share, buy a small studio flat as a base and use the rest of the money to fulfill your travel dreams.
Divorce can feel overwhelming but there is help available to help you turn your dreams into reality.