There’s really no such thing as a “good” time for a divorce – but divorcing during the holidays can seem especially rough. All that holiday cheer and familial togetherness you see reflected in the media and all around you can feel like an emotional assault.
How do you get through it without losing your sanity or your temper? Consider these suggestions.
Put the brake on intrusive questions
You can generally expect a lot of questions about your personal life and the divorce from both well-meaning loved ones who are concerned about you and people who are just inherently nosey. Whatever their motivations, however, you aren’t required to give answers. Practice establishing boundaries by rehearsing statements like, “I’d rather keep the focus on the holiday right now,” or “We can talk about that later,” and then change the subject.
Control your impulse spending
It can be really tempting to throw your budget out the window and soothe your feelings of loneliness and grief by shopping until you drop. However, that can set you up for a financial disaster once the season is over. Set a budget and stick with it so that you don’t overspend.
Figure out new traditions
The longer you’ve been married, the harder it can be to adjust to the holidays as a newly single person – but you need to try. Do not isolate yourself on special days. If the kids are going to be with your ex or you’re used to going to your in-laws on Christmas Eve, for example, see if you can visit with friends, take a short trip or go out for a fancy dinner. This is a good time to reinvent yourself and your holiday traditions.
Above all, remember this: The first year following a marital split is always the hardest. It will get easier. Just make sure that you have the appropriate legal guidance during this time so that you can start the new year in a better position.