Communication between parents is essential, but communication can often become tense or utterly ineffective (or outright hostile) when co-parents are no longer coupled.
If you and your ex are struggling to interact and talking seems to be counterproductive, where do you begin to turn things around? Consider these tips as a starting point for productive and calm communication.
1. Stick to matters related to the children
Every discussion between you and your ex should focus on the children, particularly if things are tense. Other topics, such as things that ended your relationship, can quickly become contentious. That can lead to unnecessary strain and stress and has nothing to do with the important matters at hand. Limit your conversation only to current concerns.
2. Take a businesslike approach
Think of your current relationship with your ex as a business partnership and tailor your language accordingly. Whether you’re speaking in-person or via email or message, stop and consider your words carefully. Address your co-parent similarly to how you would address a co-worker. While that may feel oddly formal, it can avoid emotional language that might be inflammatory.
3. Take a step back whenever necessary
Disagreements with your ex are bound to happen. It’s best to have a plan in place to handle those. First, remember that compromise is necessary. Second, know when you need to take a step back. If you do need a break, clearly state when you will circle back to address the issue again.
One option that may be beneficial is to have the communication terms established in the parenting plan. This gives both parents an exact set of expectations to meet and ground rules to follow. An experienced attorney can help build a comprehensive plan that addresses both this issue and others in a constructive way.