When you get divorced as a parent, you may be tempted to let the rules go. After all, you feel like you dragged the child through the divorce. Sure, the child custody arrangement keeps both you and your ex involved in your child’s life, but you know it’s not the same. You feel bad about that, even if you’re glad you got divorced on a personal level.
This can cause serious problems. Don’t let your guilt change the way that you treat your child.
That’s what one boy’s parents did. They let him skip bedtimes. They bought him new toys. They let him give up on his chores and just have fun.
“We thought that by giving him things that made him happy, we could make up for this huge change and loss in his life,” his mom said.
They’re not alone. Experts note that this is very common behavior for parents in their situation.
However, it can also cause some serious issues. Children may start gaming the system and manipulating their parents. If one parent breaks the rules and the other doesn’t, it can lead to favoritism and even parental alienation. Children can become spoiled and irresponsible. Ultimately, their relationships with both parents suffer because they no longer have the structure that they need in life.
If you get divorced, while figuring out your child custody arrangement, sit down with your ex and talk about how you’ll raise your child. The two of you need to work together on this. If you’re dedicated to it, you can still give that child a stable, supportive home where they get a proper upbringing.