How is your spouse going to react when you ask for a divorce? Will they be shocked? Will they nod knowingly, having felt the same way for a long time? Will they think you’re joking?
Much of it comes back to your pre-divorce communication. Clearly, you have some concerns about the marriage if you’re thinking about ending it. Have you told your spouse what those concerns are? Do they realize how serious you are?
If you have not communicated your feelings, perhaps being nervous to bring up a subject that might make them angry with you, then the odds are higher that they’re going to be stunned by your request. As far as they knew, things were fine. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for the divorce, but you just need to be prepared for that reaction.
If you have communicated your concerns, and they have refused to change or address the issue, they won’t have any room to really be surprised. They may still not want to get divorced, but you tried. You asked them to change. You told them what problems and issues you had. They either could not or would not do anything about it. You may feel like your only logical choice at that point is to end the relationship.
The way that they respond to your announcement could drastically impact how the divorce plays out. If they’re shocked, are they more likely to be hostile and vindictive? If they feel the same way, are they more likely to work with you? Either way, you need to know what legal options you have.