There are those who want to get divorced, but they’re nervous to do so because they feel like it will have a negative impact on their children. Perhaps they have read reports about how children tend to do worse academically after a divorce, for instance. Or maybe they think the children will have trouble developing socially.
It is true that there can be negative ramifications stemming from a divorce, and parents need to be aware of this. But it is a myth to believe that divorce is always worse for the children. Some studies have actually found that it can be much better for them if their parents split up.
The amount of conflict
The key detail to look at is just how much conflict is in the home. If two people are unhappy but are able to stay civil and get along, then the children may not be stressed and may not even understand that these disagreements exist.
However, many couples who are moving toward divorce experience a lot of stress. They may have constant disagreements or arguments. Children are going to see this and a stressful environment is less healthy for them than a peaceful one. Chronic conflict is something that has a long-term negative impact on children, and they shouldn’t be exposed to it.
So, couples who are in high-conflict marriages may find that they actually improve their children’s lives if they get divorced– as long as both parents stay involved with the children after the divorce. This can provide the children with a living situation that makes them happier and healthier – and that is much more stable – than when their parents were still married.
If that type of involvement is your goal, be sure that you understand all of your legal options during a divorce.