Negotiating the details of a parenting plan can take time and cause emotional turmoil for both parents. No one wants to picture only spending alternate holidays with their children or letting them spend every spring break in another state with their other parent.
However, such negotiations are crucial for the well-being of the entire family following a breakup or divorce. Those who take the time to create a very thorough parenting plan that accurately reflects family circumstances can potentially reap numerous benefits from their efforts.
Reduced parental conflict
Perhaps the best outcome of putting together a very detailed parenting plan is a reduction in how many arguments or last-minute negotiations the parents have to have with each other. Trying to establish rules for vacations or mobile phone use on the fly can lead to disagreements that affect the children in the family.
More predictable expectations for children
The younger children are, the more important it is that they truly understand what adults require from them. Children and even teenagers may struggle to adjust to co-parenting arrangements when the schedule is unpredictable and the rules are inconsistent. When parents have made the situation more predictable for the children, they will have an easier time adjusting and meeting expectations.
Reduced potential for return trips to court
Updating or modifying a custody order will be inevitable. Parents remarrying or starting new jobs and children having health challenges may force the family to reevaluate rules and parenting schedules. Many families end up going back to court and re-litigating the division of parenting time and decision-making authority when the adults end up disagreeing about issues like what school the children will attend or how much time each has with the kids.
Parents who put the time into creating a parenting plan that addresses current and future family needs will be in a better position to continue cooperating and to avoid frustrating disputes that could result in expensive litigation later. If updating the parenting plan becomes necessary, parents who have been able to cooperate with one another may have an easier time reaching a mutual agreement for an uncontested modification request.
Understanding the long-term benefits derived from investing more energy in the creation of a parenting plan early in a co-parenting relationship may help parents ultimately better support their children across two households.